Post Appalachian Trail FKT Attempt
Disclaimer: Words are written by myself, not using any form of AI technology.
It’s been approximately two weeks since I stepped off the Appalachian Trail. A lot has happened, but at the same time nothing has really happened at all. I’ve been sitting down a lot — mostly in my camping chair. And I’ve spent most of my time eating, sleeping, or analysing the 35 days I spent on the Appalachian Trail.
I’ll go into my summary of that analysis in another post, but right now I want to talk about how I feel physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Physically: walking up and down the stairs, I’m very slow. My muscles hurt on the descent, and I get out of breath going up. My mental clarity feels delayed.
Emotionally: I recognise myself going through the five stages of grief:
Disbelief
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
I’ve passed disbelief, but I haven’t arrived at acceptance yet — so I’m somewhere in the middle of this process.
I also get dizzy when I walk up a slight hill. The other day I was standing on the platform at the train station and an announcement came over the speaker: “Stand back as this train is not stopping.” Most people just stared at their phones or continued talking. As the train went past — at what seemed like 100 miles an hour to me — I was shocked and disturbed at how such a fast-moving, massive machine could be literally six feet from where people were standing without any barrier.
I’ve also spent a lot of time watching YouTube. I enjoy a guy called Ari, who walks around New York sharing his music with people who rap into his microphone. I’ve also been watching some Dave Chappelle. And I’ve been keeping up daily with Jeff Garmire — he’s going for the self-supported FKT on the Appalachian Trail. It’s amazing to see him do this journey alone, and I know he’s experiencing similar things to what I did, but in a completely different way as it’s a solo adventure.
I’ve been trying to maintain three healthy meals per day, which include oats, vegan protein powder, and a good serving of summer berries. My lunch is usually rocket salad, raw grated beetroot with turmeric, tomatoes, and usually some kind of protein — often roasted chicken from my local supermarket, Waitrose. Dinner is mostly vegetables with steak, fish, or chicken. I’ve been snacking on ice cream, biscuits, and chocolate — and I’ve definitely gained about 7 kg (≈15 lb).
I definitely do not feel like my athletic self. That brings me to how I feel emotionally: if I’m honest, I feel destroyed. Sometimes I just cry. Other times I think: all these years I thought I was going to set a record on the Appalachian Trail, and seven years later, I didn’t do it. But then another part of me asks: what did I achieve in the process?
I read people’s comments online. Many see it as me following my dreams and stepping out of my comfort zone. But I also see negative comments — even from people I considered friends — and those upset me deeply. This is probably the hardest part, because a single comment can send me into a negative spiral. But I know I have to pull myself out of that. Even though depression is one stage of grieving, I don’t want to stay in that space too long.
I’m going to Spain on Monday to see my beautiful girlfriend Tao — beautiful in many ways, not just physically but also emotionally and artistically. I love every dimension of her. When we’re together, she’s a great influence on my health and well-being.
So here it is: my first blog. I’m being lazy and using the dictaphone on my laptop, but I assure you these words come from my heart and mind, not generated by any AI technology — hopefully the reader appreciates that.
Finally, a quick note: I’m available for coaching. This is my only income, and I have so much to share. I’ve taken endurance to a level that very few people in the world have. There are some amazing athletes out there running 200- or even 500-mile races — which is incredible. But honestly, unless you’re running 2,000 miles for up to 20 hours per day, you haven’t experienced mega-running. I have. And I’m happy to share what I’ve learned with you, to help in your future races and adventures.
My coaching is centred around communication. It’s not just numbers I send you — it’s good vibes we share in our weekly conversations. You will definitely notice the difference between me and someone else, I guarantee it. Just send me an email, and I’ll be happy to respond.
